After a 4.9 mile run on the Ocean City Boardwalk, I’m enjoying my Saturday morning at the shore by drinking some tea and catching up on some blog reading – I think that’s the lowest my Google Reader has been in a while.
I’m a bit unsure of where I want to go with this little blog of mine. I know that I am blogging for me and I can post about whatever my little heart desires, but I’m the girl with a plan and direction and this blog needs that. I need a “schtick” if you will. I’ve been doing some serious brain storming and have come up with…nothing.
Hopefully it will come to me.
This somewhat ties into a small post I did last night on my Tumblr regarding fear and the point I am at in my life.
I’m standing at a cross roads.
In so many areas of my life. I’m not quite sure what I want. My goals are vague and it’s showing in my lack of drive and motivation.
This does not exclusively pertain to health and fitness, though this area of my life has taken a hard hit. No, this pertains to my career, my hobbies, my relationships. My life.
I’m having a hard time finding myself. At 25 years old, you’d think I’d have figured it out by now. I haven’t.
I’m afraid that the degree I’ve spent almost 7 years obtaining isn’t what I want to spend the rest of my life doing
I’m afraid I’ll never actually figure out what I want to do.
I’m afraid of maintaining my weight loss. I’ve been losing weight for so long that I don’t know anything else.
I’m afraid I’ll gain it all back.
I’m still a bit afraid of food (as much as it pains me to admit this) and I am so ready to move on from that fear and learn to enjoy it. But I don’t know how.
I love blogging and would love to do something more with it, but I don’t know what.
I need to sit down and do some real soul-searching. Figure out what it is I am truly passionate about and pursue it.
But what if I can’t figure it out?
I know fear is a good thing. Without fear we would never push outside our comfort zone. We wouldn’t know how it felt to accomplish something you never thought you were capable of. You would be complacent with just being comfortable.
But right now this fear is very overwhelming, and I’m not sure what to do with it.
So that is where I am at.